To My Darling FanFiction
by mydarlingjuliet
Summary: I swear, if I wake up tomorrow morning to see creepy chicks staring at me as I sleep murmuring nonsense like, "Omigosh, Naru should be cuddling her! Where is he? GO GET HIM. RIGHT NOW!" Then I'm going to sue. I swear to all things holy, I will sue.
1. Leave It To You Naru's

**I: ****You idiots**

I can't believe you people. I swear, I mean what the hell did I ever do to you? I mean seriously! After signing up for this sight and looking around I find an anime called Ghost Hunt and click it thinking nothing of it, but what do I see? Endless stories of SPR! I swear to God you all are stalkers or something! I mean you knew everything about us down from our names to _really _personal information. And after reading the first chapter in about every story it was exactly the same! I come in and Naru yells at me for tea. I grumble and go make it while I explain in my thought about my job, who works with me, who I am and about how I'm so madly in love with my boss. Of course I am in love with him but you shouldn't go around publicizing my personal life!

**II: ****My Complaints**

Basically all of the above. I mean really though, you just suspect I'm a clumsy orphan who can only blush and crap. You've got everyone's parts down to where there perfect. I swear your all some sort of physics Naru has hired in order to torture me to death slowly. I can only imagine what lengths he'll go to…but knowing him he's keep me for my tea…ANYWAYS! Jeez….can't I live my odd life in peace without any of…._this_? I mean, oh God! What if Naru saw this sight and read some of these stories! NOOOOOOOO!

**III: ****You….**_**Naru's**_

That's right. I have decided to give all of you the name of _Naru's_ from now on. That's how terrible you all make me feel. Naru; a narcissistic, tea addicted, clothing bland, workaholic, jerk. Sure he had plusses but for now, you all have been reduced to his minuses. I may love the man greatly, especially for his faults but I do not, in any form or way, love you _Naru's. _

**IV: ****In Conclusion**

To conclude my ranting for now I just have to say I'm slightly disappointed in you all. _Scratch that crap, _ I'm _very_ disappointed in you all. Not only have you gone and found the entire biography of not only my life, but everyone else's. You have added facts and twisted things. Hell, some of you even paired me with Lin and Naru with Masako. _Lin_ for God's sake! What the hell is your mathematics teacher teaching you lot! Plus your lack of creativity in even _trying_ to sum up a case is beyond drastic with some of you. I swear you all expect something dreadful beyond all belief to happen to me and think, "NO! WHERE IS NARU! HE SHOULD BE HELPING HER! GO. GET. HIM. NOW." Then Naru comes rushing to my side like prince charming. He'll chastise me about how worried he was and then confess his love and we'll get married or something…Your imagination is lacking nothing in this category. But I swear to all that is good on this Earth that if I wake up tomorrow to see creepy fan girls and boys watching me sleep and ripping hair of their heads screaming, "NARU SHOULD BE CUDDLING WITH HER!" Than by all means holy and sane form what I know _is_ sane, I'll sue. I swear on the incredibly sexy Naru and the great Orikiri-sama, I'll sue. May the power of all orphans compel you!

**HA! I Just had to add that last part(; Review! BTW this si basically Mai ranting on and on about FanFiction lol**


	2. Scared Much

**A/N: I read all of your awesome reviews and decided that after this chapter, on every other chapter I'll switch the characters so EVERYONE get to rant! Maybe even Naru…hehe. I LOVE it!**

**I. ****Hello Again **_**Naru's**_

Hello again to my lovely Naru's. I suppose you'd like to know about my crap ass day, huh? But- OH WAIT! Since all of you Naru's seem to be complete and utter stalkers and know absolutely everything you probably already know. Well guess what? I don't give a crap. You'll sit on your swirl chairs in your anime filled bedroom staring at this screen and will read this. So yes, you'll listen to me rant about what you already know that _I _know you know, got that? Good.

**II. ****My Complaints You Already Know…**_**Shocker**_

Well first off, Naru is such a jerk! I run in late (Again I may add) because I still have my retarded alarm clock, which of course, is still _broken._ Yes, I had thrown it at my wall the other day and forgot to buy a new one. Silly me. ANYWAYS! As I was saying….er….typing…Naru tells me I'm late, deducts part of my pay and yells his famous and almighty phrase that everyone (besides me) seems to know and love. And yes, it was, "Mai, tea." Ooohhhh there is only SO much hate and dread that you can feel towards two words.

**III. ****Farewell for Now…**

I suppose that shortly sums up my crappy day. And for all you Naru's out there who suppose that when I'm writing these I happen to be _cute_ and _funny_, well, lemme tell you, you've got another thing coming sweet cheeks. Maybe I'll show all of SPR, minus Naru of course…maybe…about these stories and let them have a go at ranting….just maybe… Ahh you can only imagine how that'll turn out, but of course with you all being Naru's, that won't be much of a problem. Ta ta for now my darling FanFiction.


	3. Damn Nails

**Dear FanFiction, **

**I. ****HA! My Discovery**

Hello…I have been rummaging around Mai's apartment as she is attempting…and failing miserably…at cleaning up her room. You'd think she'd be more organized seeing as how the girl is rarely ever here and it's only _her_ living here. My lord. Let's just say it's drastic and looks like Hurricane Naru flew by here…twice. Anywho…I found Mai's laptop on her table and decided to go through her favorites list. I just so happened to stumble across this…website. All I have to say is…GENIOUS! Mai and Naru were eventually going to get together and good thing you put that snobby Masako with the saint child, she could use some help. And Lin and Madoka? BEAUTIFUL! There is only one flaw in your set up though and in which if I had known any of you all… you'd be in mental asylums and/or hospitals at said moment….._Bou-san and ME! _You see, I'd underline, italics, bold and all caps that in a heartbeat if it didn't look weird and screw up my perfect ranting. My goodness….you must be crazy, delusional, people. I wonder if you might've been one of clients in the past…..? Nah, there's too many of what Mai calls you…you _Naru's _**AYAKO NOTE: Bahaha! I love this child! **For that to be true. *Sigh* So yes, this is my new discovery…

**II: ****P.S**

I'm setting this up like Mai's.

**III: ****Current Time Events…**

1) You people are complete stalkers who have nothing better to do in life besides write random fanfics on us.

2) I just broke another damn nail….damn….and these were acrylic…

3) Mai's still cleaning and has been trying to do several tasks at once.

4) Mai is quite amusing.

5) DAMN..!.Another nail….I really need to type slower.

6) I'm calling the monk for no reason.

7) Mai is yelling in frustration and the monk actually just stopped by.

8) I hit said monk. Said monk yelled.

9)…

**IV: ****Rants then Goodbye**

UGH! I hate when I fricken brake a nail! Hate it! HATE IT! _HATE IT! _I hate it with a passion that's how I feel about it! There is this annoying…_thing_ speaking to me. GAWD GO AWAY ANNOYING THING! AHH! Naru called Mai…we have to go into work. Drats. Well then goodbye Naru's and let's hopes Mr. Cranky-Narcissist isn't so prissy today. I swear, he should just go suck face with Mai and give us a break already. WHOOPS! Gotta go, Mai's realized I took her laptop.

**~Signing Out for Now,**

** _ Ayako**

**A/N: HAHAHA! Maybe next time it'll be Yasuhara! Ha! What a thought!(: I will be sure to update faster so sorry for late updates guys! REVIEW!**


	4. Tsk Tsk Tsk

**Dear FanFiction,**

**I. ****Love Your Style with My Character**

You + fanfics +SPR= Total and Utter unicorn-ness. Yes, I said it. No need to get all…defensive. Ok, OK! Sorry, gawrsh. Anyways darlings, I just _love_ how you make my character so…..me! Perverted, teasing, random, curious with other people's lives, playboy-y, fear of dying a virgin….*sniffles* You know me so well…. Though I could use a sidekick…like in the movies! OH! His name could be Mr. Truffles, a giant piece of chocolate who actually thinks he's a stuffed rabbit while his occupation is being my sidekick and writing sappy love/action novels over his weekends. Mr. Truffles' favorite color is purple, he's 5'4, has a fear of getting tripped down a hole and sent into a magical world with a girl name Alice and a clock watch, and loves any anime with talking robots.

**II. ****Something Random…**

Hey, ever wonder what Lin types over his computer. I mean it's all he ever does. One moment he's standing up all the way across the room, you turn around and look back about a second later and there he is, typing away like the stoic man he is. Maybe…just maybe…_he's _writing the sappy love/action novel instead of Mr. Truffles! Good Easter Pineapples, I think I've made a huge innovation! No wonder that's all he does… I mean all writers have due dates…WAIT! OHMIGOSH! What if he writes…_manga? _HOLY &*#%!

**III. ****I Know You Find Me Attractive Dear**

I know you do. Who doesn't? I'm _irresistible! _ So damn sexy, you don't have to hide your thoughts. I mean, it's not a new one for me.

**IV. ****By the Way**

By the way… Mi no fucking gustar Spanish, comprende? No? Look it up.

**V. ****Forgot**

Oh yes, did I forget to mention the tiny detail that I'm stuffed inside some storage closet in a grocery store five miles from Tokyo? Very long story…but you'll make time! Ok so here's my flashback…

_My Flashback_

_I was merrily skipping down the sidewalk and came across the SPR gang standing outside the office. Now, being the curious little prick I am, I just had to approach the bunch. I tip toe behind Mai and scream in her ear, causing a chain reaction from several people. I smile in triumph. "Why are you guys outside? It's, like, below freezing out? And what're you typing Mai~" Mai groaned. Naru cleared his throat, "_Someone," _He emphasized. "Forgot the keys so we've been locked out." I rocked back and forth on my tip toes, hands crossed behind my back. "Uh huh~" quickly I glance over at Mai and snatch the laptop from her hands, dashing away like a mad man. "Catch me of you can suckers!"I sang. "YASUHARA GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RIGHT NOW AND GIVE ME MY FUCKING LAPTOP!" I tsked. "Such violent language." The girl raged and started chasing me. "Oh shit." When Mai's serious, she's serious. I dashed as fast as I could to the farthest and most convenient place I could think of and ended up randomly getting stuck in some storage closet. Hehe, at least Mai was off my tail…_

_End of Flashback_

~Present time~

The door that contained the darkness except for the lit up computer screen slammed open. "Shit…" I whispered in a British accent. "Mai-DON'T-AHHH!"

**~Signing Off**

**_Yasuhara, alive right now and dead tomorrow morning**


	5. I Send It To A Proud Madoka

**Dear FanFiction,**

**I. ****Interesting Enough for Madoka**

Taniyama-san left her laptop on her desk today. How that is so like her, always forgetting her things. Well, I suppose normally I wouldn't intervene with the personal lives and/or interests of others, but seeing as how I had nothing better to do I went through Taniyama-san's computer files. Luckily she was too dimwitted to notice later, but of course I wouldn't tell her this. But yes, this should be good enough to Madoka…Yes…I can prove myself to her once more.

**II. ****Our Routine for Today**

Yasuhara-san is still recovering from the damage Taniyama-san inflicted on him for taking her laptop. It's actually quite magnificent that such a small and fragile girl could be so…violent, really. Naru told her she was being an 'immature idiot' and of course it was only so he could get some sort of reaction from the girl. It really does make me smile with how those two are so perfect for each other…. Anyway, all was quite in the office…mostly at least. Matsuzaki-san and Takigawa-san won't leave the office now and it's getting rather annoying to type the truth. I'm rather surprised that they haven't noticed me using Taniyama-san's computer yet, but then again they always see me typing. Naru had retreated from his offices several times in attempts to get them to leave but ended to no avail. Eventually he had to call Taniyama-san back in so he could have his stress relieving tea. When she found out that that was the only reason why he wanted her she flipped out. It was an entertaining sight.

**III. ****Present Time Occurrences**

A mental image wouldn't be enough to describe what's going on right now, honestly. The only way to properly describe this would be to either see it yourself or for me to verbalize this on the computer. I will have o tell you everything going on in this Kodak moment, step by step. Current happening:

1. Yasuhara-san tripped over the couch bumping into Taniyama-san.

2. Taniyama-san falls over.

3. The tea she was holding flies across the room.

4. Naru exits his office to tell everyone to quite down.

5. Takigawa-san pushes Naru out the way from the tea.

6. He had pushed Naru into the couch.

7. Naru fell over the couch and the tea pours onto him.

8. Hara-san rushes over to help.

9. She accidently trips over Taniyama-san

10. Taniyama-san falls on top of Naru.

11. Their lips crashed onto one another's.

12. I take a picture.

13. I send it to a proud Madoka.

P.S I have no clue as to why I'm even writing this to you all but it'll reduce your boredom I suppose.

**_Signing off till next time, Lin**


	6. Not Much Else

**Dear FanFiction,**

**I. ****Forgive Me for My Sin's**

I'm so sorry lord that thou hath broken a sin. But…I suppose it's not a sin if Taniyama-san said I could use her laptop. Yes! Thank you lord!

**II. ****How Interesting**

Who knew Taniyama-san was posting these…well I'll call it a blogs, I have no clue what these eastern people call it. Apparently, Lin-san, Matsuzaki-san, and Yasuhara-san knew actually. For they have posted before me. Hehe, and with that k-kiss yesterday…Shibuya-san and Taniyama-san are trying to act normal and all but every time she sees him she blushes and when he sees her he avoids eye contact. It's rather amusing but it's gotten quieter ever since around SPR.

**III. ****Oh My…**

Well….that was rather…interesting? Taniyama-san just went off apologizing to Shibuya-san and he just smiled and said not to be. Wow…All was good until Yasuhara-san walked in. He slammed the door open with a triumphant smirk on his face saying something like, "YouTube here I come!" Whatever YouTube is I'll never know….Taniyama-san is pouncing him around the office trying to get the video camera out if his hands. Said boy had video recorded their little scene. I kept blushing. It's so embarrassing!

**IV. ****Not Much Else**

Well I know my…blog…was short, but there isn't much else for me to say to you all. Though I have to say, Taniyama-san is quite a character. Well then, I'll bid you dew _Naru's. _*chuckles*

**~Signing off today**

**_John**


	7. I Love It With A Deep Passion

**Dear FanFiction,**

**I. ****Well….**

Well, it appears that my _darling _and _trustful _friends have been hacking into my computer and writing to you Naru's. John's fine since I carelessly allowed him to use my laptop and Yasuhara…I got him back. *smirk* There's no way in hell I could get Lin back….the creeper. Haha, but he's cool, I suppose. Ayako would be easy to get back at later. Hehe I can only imagine how I could slowly torture her to death…Yes, yes. Breaking her perfectly manicured nails, raiding her closet, ransacking the clothes and then switching them out with the hobo's clothes from down the street. I'm sure he won't mind. Ah, good ole Earl…

**II. ****The Latest**

Not much has happened over the past few days…Well, except for the fact that Naru and I have been rated number one over YouTube. Oh, and also the fact that Yasu has been put into the hospital. Now about the YouTube incident…our video had been posted all over the web and people continuously comment for us to make more. Apparently the film was still rolling as I was chasing Yasu and I've been dubbed as the 'evil bitch-anator' and the funny thing is Naru's nickname now. It's, the 'soulless bore fest' ha! I find it absolutely hilarious! We've been rated five starts, which is the most. And the doctors in the hospital have been prescribing Yasu, and have had attempted many times in putting him in an asylum because they say he was claiming that he would 'make the world filled with Naru and Mai' and bloody bloody blah blah. Maybe I'll visit him one day in prison…if he makes it there. (;

**III. ****Masako Drama**

Guess who's been rather attention deprived lately? You guessed it! The one and only! The cruel and the bitchiest! Hara Masako! Said attention deprived, famous, medium has been constantly trying to shine in the spotlight. That 'spotlight' being a certain God of a narcissist. I swear that sometimes she only does it to piss me off. And quite frankly, it's been working. Every time. Fawning over him like German chocolate and batting her eyelashes like they're going to fall off. It annoys the hell out of e. and apparently, Naru too. That part satisfies me, at least. He only used to push her off but I suppose it's gotten to the point where he's absolutely furious. Said boy was _so_ furious, he just went on a thirty minute spiel, lecturing Masako on how he'll never love her and bloody, bloody blah. *triumphantly smirks* I love it, and oh yes, I love it with a deep passion.

**~Signing off for today, still laughing tomorrow**

**_Mai**


	8. Dear Readers

**Dear Readers, **_**PLEASE READ!**_

**I'm so sorry I haven't been updating my stories much lately but you must understand that I have some very disappointing limits. Them being:**

**1. My mother only allows me on my computer on weekends because she's afraid it'll interfere with my school. *sigh***

**2. I am almost in high school so I have plenty of exams and what now to study for.**

**3. Homework. Sucky, sucky, homework.**

**Also, I know this last one is partly my fault and responsibility, but I do have four stories that I'm writing at the same time. So, I can't blame you for that one because I brought that challenge on myself. Also this Author's note wasn't just to explain this but also for something else. As most of you might know, Thanksgiving break is after this week, for me at least. I'll be going out of the country to visit relatives during this time and I don't have a laptop, so I can't possibly bring my computer with me during break. So, alas, there will be no updates during this time period. I'm so sorry readers and I promise you I'll be writing in my journal for the new chapters and I'll start typing them up right away when I come back. I promise I won't slack on updates and I'll make my stories amazing. Thanks for taking your time to read this, it is highly appreciated. **

**~mydarlingjuliet**


	9. Masako Drama?

**Dear FanFiction,**

**I. ****Masako Drama?**

Who is as stupid to write this _crap_? My love life is not drama, and Mai is only jealous Naru favors me enough to share his emotions, though bittersweet. But that's what happens in relationships. Normal couples have their moments. Drama is an exaggeration. _Extreme_ exaggeration. Drama would be the fake act Mai puts on. I hope you're sitting in your filthy 'commoners' couch, reading this letter. And _Naru's_? I have never heard of anything more pathetic or preposterous. Just goes to show how your poor orphan self is similar to your poor excuse for love towards my man. Hear that, Mai? _My _man. Back. Off. We all know he hates you anyway. How could you possibly mean anything to him when all you are capable of is making lousy tea that isn't even suitable for a rat to drink. A _starved_ rat. Stop pretending to be some innocent little pansy. This isn't your world, and it certainly isn't all about _you_. That fame has been reserved for _me_. Get a life. Get a hit TV show. Get some personality. Get some looks. Get your own guy (Who'd be uglier than ugly). Get. A. Life. And while you're at it, stop stealing mine. I hear from the lame-o-studio clean up men that Wal Mart sells 'lives' dirt cheap. I'd be more than happy to spare you a penny.

**II. ****Be Lucky**

Be lucky for everything. Be lucky that my gorgeous Naru hasn't fired you yet. Be lucky your parents are dead; they'd probably hate you anyway. Be lucky I have enough sympathy to even write about you. _Me_, the beautiful, elegant, famous Hara Masako. Sure I actually feel _bad_ for you sometimes, but I have much more important things to do. I can't just be wasting my life worrying over grime. All of those times I was 'nice to you'? Ha. That was only so my dear Naru could love me more. You're such a fake, Mai. The only time I would _ever_ be grateful to you, was if you, per chance saved my life from a vampire like ghost who almost killed me.

**III. ****I Hate You **

Plain and simple. I. Hate. You. Why _should_ I like you? Ew, that's just- eww. I'd get orphan germs on me. Stop stealing all the glory with your new 'techniques'. Soon, with the help of my lover, I'll become a perfect medium, better than Naru's idiot brother ever was.

**IIII. ****So, bye then.**

I'll bid you goodbye, now. So adios, loser. Next time we meet, I and my prince charming will be back from our eloping and we'll be married with ten kids. Just. You. Wait.

**~Signing off with no love, Masako**


	10. Sitting In A Kitchen Cabinet

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ghost Hunt or anything used in these chapters. Except the story line.**

**Dear FanFiction,**

**I. ****PMS-ing Much?**

What. A. Snob. _Somebody_ was on their period when they wrote that last chapter. I mean _damn_. Need an Advil? Or maybe a chill pill 'cause your rage is burning! Okay lol so not funny. Well, yeah. Sure, I have my up days and my down days, but _that_? Whatever 'that' was, it makes me want to…want to kick an acorn. In all its brown and nutty glory. And I quote "Just. You. Wait." I mean wtf? And 10 kids? Honey, she'd be lucky to even be able to have one kid after the way she treats men. And women. And people in general. Heck, she even treats nature bad! Now _that's_ saying something. Or screaming. Screaming in pain and agony. _Torturous _pain and agony… :P

**II. ****My Day**

Guess what _I _did today? Oh, you don't know? But….but I thought you were Naru's D: Okay, too dramatic. I did _nothing_ today. And that is why I'm sitting in the comfort of the SPR kitchen cabinet. And yes, I fit… It's a rather large cabinet. So instead of stealing Mai's laptop, I just hacked the account on mine(: Not so smart to keep your password and username in the top drawer of your work desk… And why am I in a cabinet? You don't know that either? Well if I were Mai, I'd demote you to something like a 'Yasu':D. Haha lol no hard feelings. So yes, here I am, inside of the SPR kitchen cabinet, typing to you Yasu's. Ha, REJECTION!~ Er…DEMOTION!~ Yeah, that's better.3

**III. ****Naru-chan**

Have I ever mentioned how much I just _love_ Madoka? Well, I've mentioned it now. :P Yesterday Madoka came to SPR, through a window of course, with a special picture in hand. Of me? No, but I'll get you an autographed version of my headshot, if you'd like(; Oh no, no, no! This _special picture_ was of the one, the only (sike, we have Gene, who's better), NARU-CHAN! *Claps and applauds* Applauding for Madoka, of course. Why in good Heaven's name would we cheer for anything Naru does? Except the fact that he was born for this photo lol. What type of photo is it, you ask? DEMOTION. *Cough* Erm, anyway, it is…a…..BABY PHOTO! And who doesn't love mint condition pictures of children ten years ago in chubby form? Yes, Earl the hobo, from down the street. But not my fault he didn't have a decent childhood. Sheesh. But back to the topic at hand…HE WAS SO _CHUNKY_! Pudgy little cheeks, with a melted Hershey's bar in his hand, sitting criss-cross-apple-sauce on some blue little play matt with a chew chew train twirling around him. Those were the days… But damn is he adorable! I just wanna jump in that picture, steal his chocolate and knock him over for all the bad things he's done to me! :D

**IV. ****I Just Realized**

Yeah, so I was going back and reading through this, the occasional lol-ing-er excuse me- _rofling, _and noticed I forgot to tell you why I was in the kitchen cabinet. Well you see-

_What's happening in actual life-?_

_Mai bursts into the kitchen, rampaging about. Bou-san whispers in the cabinet, "Guess Masako wasn't the only one PMS-ing." Suddenly that particular cabinet swings open, falling off of its hinges. Bou-san shyly looks up and waves, "HI there, Mai-chan~" Mai grabs the nearest cup- which she thinks has water in it, but it actually contains coffee- and splashes it all over the monk and his laptop. He shrieks and pain, attempts to bolt up, but hits his head against the top of the cabinet (still inside it) and thumps back done. Rubbing his now red arms, he's about to comment at the younger girl's behavior before she fumes, "NOW I KNOW WHY THE FUCK I CANT GET ONTO MY ACCOUNT! I login, it logs me out! DAMNIT BOU-SAN! I've been trying to get on for ONE HOUR! Checking plugs, calling security, I even asked NARU because of you! Go kick an acorn and STAY OFF OF MY ACCOUNT." The girl swiftly turns and leaves to her desk, sitting casually. The kitchen door continues to sway open and closed. The whole of SPR peers in to see the damage. _

**_Signing off for good, ointment on my skin later~**

**_Bou-san **

**So, I've decided, I'll be posting a new chapter for this every day. IIM BACK! (: Review, review, Review guys!**


	11. Full Of Secrets

**Disclaimer: I don't own Ghost Hunt or anything in this chapter.**

**Dear FanFiction,**

**I. ****Is That What This Is?**

So, not the most brilliant of moves to leave your laptop, open and unlocked, in the confinements of SPR. _Especially_ after you go home and the place becomes closed. What a stupid, stupid girl. FanFiction? Is that what this is? At least now I know what all of my employees have been ranting about in the 'living room'. And also why they've been getting hurt more frequently. I have read through these chapters, and snuck a peek at these comments. Am I just _that_ irresistible to want a baby photo of myself? Or how about the fact that you…Naru's- as Mai puts it, wish for me to write to you all? Sounds more like public service announcements, if you ask me. I do not follow wishes or requests just because you 'think it would be funny', or 'can't wait to see the reactions' I pose. But- I'm curious here. So, out of my own will, I'll post.

**II. ****Hate**

Ah, so Hara-san believes my brother is stupid? Believes that 'with the help of her lover, she'll become a perfect medium, better than Naru's idiot brother ever was'? Believes I love her? Ten children? Sure, my brother was an idiot at times, but, she has _no_ right at all to call him that herself. She didn't know him like I did. I will most certainly _never_ become her lover, or help her become the 'perfect medium', or have a _single_ child with her. I have the social power to fire her from her work, make sure that she never marries. I can control her just as much as she controls me. I am Kazuya Shibuya, Oliver Davis, and Naru. I am _not_ a puppet to be dealt with as one wishes. I can assure every single 'me' out there, face in front of their computer screens, buttocks at the edge of their chairs, that sure, I might fancy her intelligence, but I will_ never_ in _any_ life- former, present, or past, love that heartless beast. She does not truly love me. She loves my looks. My power. My social ranking. No one could love me for me.

**III. ****I Hate To Tell You**

It pains me to have to break it to you lot that I do, in fact, have feelings. I am not a robot made of metal. Sure, I can be cold. But, I can be caring just as well. That doesn't in any way necessary mean that I'll all of a sudden change my attitude to become a lovey-dovey prince charming, ready to sweep Mai- or any other girl for that matter, off of their feet. I have no time for love. I am a man of science. Gene could love, but I'm not him. I'm not saying I detest Mai- no. She is actually quite wonderful. The perfect wife. But, I do not wish for love. Particularly if the one I love, doesn't love me. But I will let you know I do like someone. Someone close to me. Someone named Lin Koujo. *Silence* Yes, I'm gay. And that's the part where your mouths drop open in shock. Also, I do not just stay locked up in my office all day long. Or drink tea constantly without going to the bathroom. You people have some major stereotypes with me. By the way, I can only imagine how many of you would want Bou-san to write after me. And for those of you clueless enough to not know what I'm talking about, I just exposed- excuse me, _freed_ myself to SPR.

**IV. ****Just Because**

A number of times, most of you all wonder what Lin types up on his computer. Now, this has nothing to do with myself, but I thought I'd tell you. He plays video games and writes on this website. And next, I'm sure you'd all want his username, correct? Well, ask him yourself. How? You lot are beginning to sound like my incompetent assistant. Just hope he writes to you all here. Oh and also, I'll tell you another secret. My favorite color is pink and I love bunnies. Only the white furred. The brown furred scare me. And as a side note. Does anyone have a copy of the new edition of the 'Seventeen' magazine? Or Justin Beiber's book, perhaps?

**_Signing Off With More Secrets**

**_Naru**


	12. Growing Mushrooms

**Disclaimer: mydarlingjuliet does not own Ghost Hunt or anything in these chapters.**

**Dear FanFiction,**

**I. ****Who's Shocked?  
**The headliner is my question? Yes indeed, _who_ is shocked tonight? The answer would be clear. Just head down to the hospital and ask for the girl (and every other fan girl/boy in the world, but we'll just stick with '_the girl_') who is in for paralysis and a heart attack. And by golly, we all know who's there, don't we? No need to be a Naru for that. Mai Taniyama. The poor soul went into battle head first, forgetting her armor. And look, she's been damaged- NO! The lass has been struck twice, and killed by an arrow to the heart. But that 'lass' is here, back from the long journey to and fro the hospital, now sitting inside of her room. Her newly done room. Yes, I asked Bou-san to re-do my hyper daisy yellow bedroom, replaced with jet black walls, coal black comforters, black carpeting, black EVERYTHING. Including my wardrobe. But, there is hope. My poor orphan self might have used up all of her college tuition fees for her room and new clothes- but, _there is hope_. Sure, the gay is irreversible. Yet, that wasn't my new found hope. There was a little spirit with a big heart who loved me. Maybe, I had loved him all along, but told myself to love Naru because he was alive. But, no matter how many times I tell myself, I know it was that dumb idiot scientist I loved.

**II. ****Not Much**

I'm very sorry my dear FanFiction, that I don't have much to write today. Hell, I don't even have the spirit to be mad or gloat about getting that doof monk back. Yeah, the coffee-which I swear I thought was water- wasn't the last of my trickery up my sleeve. That's where he had done my room for me. And Masako? I showed this to her, and she's more devastated than me. But truth be told, her heart will be back on its feet looking for a new lover by tomorrow. That was her punishment. Right now, I could care less about the whole 'let's bitch off on Mai' thing. I'll just…run on set during her show and flip over a table or something. Medium's use tables, don't they? Aw fuck, now my intelligence is being affected. And that's the part where Naru would say, "There's no intelligence up there to be messed with, Mai." And I'd pout like the cute little highschooler I am. But you know what? I'm gonna grow some mushrooms. Then burn them in a fire pit. And kick an acorn, while I'm at it.

**III. ****I'll Continue Writing to You All**

I will, however, continue to write with you all. And I can guarantee SPR will be ready to steal my accounts glory as well. So for tonight, I'm going to bed. Sleep awful, get bitten by the leprecons (or were they bugs?), drink plenty of caffeine, go to jail, and do your homework. See you tomorrow, then.

**_Signing Off a Happy Camper**

** _Mai**


	13. Pranked

**Dear FanFiction, **

**I. ****Pranked**

And you've been pranked. Makes me wonder why Mai has named you after me. I'm brilliant. That should teach you not to invade my privacy and write sappy love stories about myself and another. And Mai, if you're reading this, I can assure you that I am not 'gay', by any means. Or like Justin Beiber, nor do I enjoy reading Seventeen magazine. You can thanks Yasuhara-san for 'my' last post. Having him around does come in handy. I would say I find it unbelievable that you all fell for that, but it's believable. And yes, I can pull a 'prank' just as well as anyone else, if not better.

**II. ****Mai**

Mai, refrain from growing mushrooms in the SPR office, if you will. I don't need to pay for poison control because of your ignorance. By the way, you might want to fix your alarm clock and think about getting your wardrobe back to normal. You look cuter in colorful clothes.

**III. ****I Have to Agree**

I have to agree with you all along the fact that I do have feelings I don't always show, but that doesn't mean, like I said earlier, that I'll just change all of a sudden. Stereotypical, like I mentioned before. And if Lin and I were to actually be in some sort of relationship- just keep on dreaming, or better yet, just keep on writing.

**_Signing Off Again**

**_Naru**


End file.
